Why girls (or at least this girl) get done up.
In my first Cultural Psychology class, one of the units talked about the difference in experiences between men and women. For two classes, all the girls sat across from all the boys and we were just free to ask each other anything we had ever been curious about. My friend Dylan asked us ladies why it is that we get so dressed up when we go out?
Jokingly I said because it's nice to get some attention and free drinks, but the moment I said that it felt wrong and I knew it was wrong. Now, I can't speak for all women but I can answer the question for myself. When I get ready to go out for a night on the town, I rarely am thinking to myself "what would make a guy stare at me/flirt with me/buy my stuff?" No what I look for in my physical presentation when I go out is what makes me feel beautiful.
I spend (and this has been true most my life) the majority of my time wearing little to no makeup, with straight hair in yoga pants, a sports bra and a sweatshirt. Pretty much nothing special every day of the week. So when I get the opportunity to go out, be it to the bars or to a festival or a concert or a date or whatever, I just want to feel beautiful. I want to look in the mirror and feel special and incredibly feminine. I like getting done up, knowing I look good, and feeling incredibly confident. It is an amazing high and a phenomenal way to start an evening. [Not to mention it is a blast getting ready with your girlfriends while blaring music that pumps you up... honestly, that is the best part of most evenings out]
I have felt great regret over the comment I made that day. It not only reflected poorly on me but was horribly incorrect. When I feel beautiful it rarely ever has to do with a man or outside attention. It has to do with me validating and appreciating myself, and sometimes to feel that special I require some high heels and makeup. So I guess there it is, the truth, and hopefully sharing it on here will make up for not sharing it there.
Jokingly I said because it's nice to get some attention and free drinks, but the moment I said that it felt wrong and I knew it was wrong. Now, I can't speak for all women but I can answer the question for myself. When I get ready to go out for a night on the town, I rarely am thinking to myself "what would make a guy stare at me/flirt with me/buy my stuff?" No what I look for in my physical presentation when I go out is what makes me feel beautiful.
I spend (and this has been true most my life) the majority of my time wearing little to no makeup, with straight hair in yoga pants, a sports bra and a sweatshirt. Pretty much nothing special every day of the week. So when I get the opportunity to go out, be it to the bars or to a festival or a concert or a date or whatever, I just want to feel beautiful. I want to look in the mirror and feel special and incredibly feminine. I like getting done up, knowing I look good, and feeling incredibly confident. It is an amazing high and a phenomenal way to start an evening. [Not to mention it is a blast getting ready with your girlfriends while blaring music that pumps you up... honestly, that is the best part of most evenings out]
Now maybe that will have the secondary effect of my feeling flirtatious and spunky... or getting free drinks and male attention. But on most nights where I look that good, I am not looking for validation from men. In fact, their persistence at trying to dance with me or get me a drink or talk to me can be a tad bit annoying. I came to enjoy my night with my friends, not them. The creeper stare isn't validating boys, it's just creepy. A compliment is appreciated, a cat call or profane comment is not. [I am not trying to suggest boys never make an advance on women, I am just saying do it respectfully and with the acknowledgment that she doesn't look that way for you.]
I have felt great regret over the comment I made that day. It not only reflected poorly on me but was horribly incorrect. When I feel beautiful it rarely ever has to do with a man or outside attention. It has to do with me validating and appreciating myself, and sometimes to feel that special I require some high heels and makeup. So I guess there it is, the truth, and hopefully sharing it on here will make up for not sharing it there.
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