Rant(s) for the day.
Here's the deal. I am 26. I am an adult (relatively speaking). Anyone who is an adult knows what it's like so can we all just agree to not say the following things:
What's new?
- Nothing. Because I am an adult. And you should know that because if I ask you what's new, you will likely have the same answer. This doesn't mean that my life isn't great or that I am not incredibly content, it just means I generally do the same type of activities every week [yoga, running, reading, watching movies, hanging with friends, drinking beer]. If something new actually happens, I will likely post it on social media because I am a millenial and that's what we do. Then you can ask me specifically about that.
- We are smart, capable, interesting people. Lets talk about engaging and important things... like the newest episode of The Real Housewives (there is no shame in my game).
- Look when we were 16 we made ignorant comments such as this because we didn't understand the implications of our statements and we didn't particularly care about our impact on others. We are all adults now and should know that our words carry meaning. Just because you are saying this "jokingly" doesn't mean it isn't offensive, it just means you don't understand what a joke is. There is no room in our world for these comments, so stop. And when you hear other people use them, ask them to stop too.
- We are adults. If you are not a good kisser at this point, you need to look at your life and look at your choices. I've been making out with people for over a decade so hopefully my skill level is satisfactory at minimum.
- Try to replace this with "I really enjoy kissing you."
- Insert middle finger emoji. First off, I am 26. My ovaries are fine and they are also none of your business. Second, you are implying two things with this statement: 1) that I need to have children and 2) that I better do it by a certain time or my kid will come out with a third arm. I hate to break it, but I don't know that I want to have children and I am not really willing to gamble on something that important until I am sure. Also, if I should decide later in life that I do want to have kids, I can still do that thanks to modern medicine and/or adoption. My priority is building a satisfying life and finding a great partner to share that life with (not popping out a watermelon from my cooter). There is no time limit to this. I will take as much time as I need. If other people want to have children, good on them! I fully support this decision but it is one that I, personally, am not concerned about for the time being.
- Yes, he is a great guy. And I appreciate that about him. And I want that good guy to find a woman that truly loves, adores and respects him. But I deserve more than just a guy who is nice to me. I want a partnership. I want to be with someone who stimulates me emotionally, mentally, physically, intellectually, spirtually...really all the "ally"s. Are you so bothered by my current life situation that you think it is necessary to try to hook me up with a "good guy" who has absolutely nothing in common with me? Good guys aren't a one size fits all (also, one size does not fit all... stop telling people that, Victoria's Secret... your thongs are ridiculous).
- If someone is a good guy who has absolutely nothing in common with me and does not share any of the same beliefs or values, just pass on my behalf. I like myself, I don't mind being single. I do, however, mind being in an unfulfilling relationship. So please, want more for me. Set the bar a touch higher.
- If you are going to ask someone on a date propose an actual time and place.
- There is no reason to feel immasculated if a woman makes more than you. It's not a big deal. Plus if you end up together that will greatly benefit your life because it will more than likely become part of a communal pot.
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