The path I'm on.
"Each of these lives is the right one! Every path is the right path.
Everything could have been anything else and it would have just as much
meaning."
I recently watched the movie Mr. Nobody and while I still am uncertain of how I feel about it as a movie, I have no doubt about the realizations it helped me come to in my own life.
I sometimes think back to my first love and how meaningful that relationship was to me. I am still so thankful that we did not stay together because who I am now does not want the life that who I was then wanted. And I am sure that the person I am in five years will be thankful that they don't have the life of the person I am now.
In previous entries, I discussed the life I was building with Ramon and how much joy that brought me. I wrote about what made Ramon and I so special-- about how we actively chose to be together each day. Regardless of the struggles and the challenges, we chose each other everyday. What a beautiful simplicity.
But now, we have chosen to not choose each other anymore. We are walking away from each other and the life we built together. And it is sad. Not because I think it is the wrong decision, but because I am mourning the death of a life I expected for myself.
If we had stayed together, I don't think I would have regretted it. I think I would have been committed to that path and would have been shaped by it. In the same way that I think had I stayed with Marcus, I would have been perfectly happy with that life.
In the same moment that it sad, it is also comforting and exciting. It feels like all these restrictions on what could be have been lifted and I get the opportunity to recreate myself again. I didn't realize all the things I wanted until we broke up and I started dreaming about all the things I could have for myself someday.
There is no path more or less meaningful than any other, there is only the path I am on. And I am so excited, albeit slightly terrified, for this new one.
-Nemo, Mr. Nobody
I recently watched the movie Mr. Nobody and while I still am uncertain of how I feel about it as a movie, I have no doubt about the realizations it helped me come to in my own life.
I sometimes think back to my first love and how meaningful that relationship was to me. I am still so thankful that we did not stay together because who I am now does not want the life that who I was then wanted. And I am sure that the person I am in five years will be thankful that they don't have the life of the person I am now.
In previous entries, I discussed the life I was building with Ramon and how much joy that brought me. I wrote about what made Ramon and I so special-- about how we actively chose to be together each day. Regardless of the struggles and the challenges, we chose each other everyday. What a beautiful simplicity.
But now, we have chosen to not choose each other anymore. We are walking away from each other and the life we built together. And it is sad. Not because I think it is the wrong decision, but because I am mourning the death of a life I expected for myself.
If we had stayed together, I don't think I would have regretted it. I think I would have been committed to that path and would have been shaped by it. In the same way that I think had I stayed with Marcus, I would have been perfectly happy with that life.
In the same moment that it sad, it is also comforting and exciting. It feels like all these restrictions on what could be have been lifted and I get the opportunity to recreate myself again. I didn't realize all the things I wanted until we broke up and I started dreaming about all the things I could have for myself someday.
There is no path more or less meaningful than any other, there is only the path I am on. And I am so excited, albeit slightly terrified, for this new one.
Comments
Post a Comment