Encanto and Generational Trauma.

I watched Encanto today and cannot stop reflecting on this movie and all the substance it contained. 

My biggest take away is that people aren't born like Abuela, they become Abuela. Through fear, unresolved trauma, too much investment in how others perceive them and their family, they begin to corrupt the thing they hold most dear. The need to feel in control makes them out of control, it might even make them start perceiving members of their family as villians and themselves as victims. Their family in either trying to appease them, keep the peace, or accepting they can't and creating distance, begin to stifle and harm themselves, without even realizing it. All the while everyone looks fine to the outside world. They appear happy and productive and successful. The family may even appear cohesive. Yet there is a sort of rot that is set in, which left untreated, will cause harm for generations to come. The responsibility of being the strong one, the happy one, the brilliant one, the perfect one or even the black sheep... rather than just being your whole self, is an unsustainable burden. 

And all it takes to break this curse, is to be seen. To allow yourself to be vulnerable. To explore your whole humanity. Mirabel is a gift because she makes this space for people. She helps people embrace their whole humanity, to let go of expectation and just be present with themself. She helps people come to themselves. And that is truly the only way healing can ever occur - personally, familially or generationally. 

May you be reminded today and always, that you are enough, just the way you are. 

In the great words of Mr. Rogers:

It's you I like,
It's not the things you wear,
It's not the way you do your hair
But it's you I like
The way you are right now,
The way down deep inside you
Not the things that hide you,
Not your toys
They're just beside you.

But it's you I like
Every part of you.
Your skin, your eyes, your feelings
Whether old or new.
I hope that you'll remember
Even when you're feeling blue
That it's you I like,
It's you yourself
It's you.
It's you I like.