"Our lives, are better left to chance. I could have missed the pain but I'd have had to miss the dance."
As I was driving home this Garth Brooks song came on and per usual, got me thinking. There are few things that make me stand out in comparison to my sisters but I think one of my definitive qualities is my open heart and willingness to fall in love.
I believe, to my core, that I am capable of getting over or dealing with the loss of anyone. I truly believed with all my heart that I would marry my first love (sounds childish but everyone else thought so too so apparently adults are childish). When we broke up I felt like my entire world was caving in and feared the pain in my heart would never fade. It took nearly three years to fully move on from that relationship but I did. Everyday I deal with the loss of my father yet the grief has not smothered me or kept me from living a fulfilling life. If anything, both of these experiences (in their variant forms of loss) have made me appreciate the moments and exchanges I get to have.
Because I know that I am capable of moving on I am not afraid to fall in love and to love deeply. It's crazy to think that every single person (per your sexual persuasion) you meet could be one of your great loves. Granted they could also be an annoying cling on or someone who breaks your heart. But they could be a great love. I have learned something about myself or life from every relationship I have ever been in, even the ones that only lasted a month. I am continually surprised and amazed by my capacity to love and grow, and I find that it is almost limitless. Does my capacity to hurt equal my capacity to love? Without a doubt. The harder you love someone sometimes the harder the pain when the love is not enough. And maybe you could miss that pain by being guarded but then you would have to miss the dance.
I love the dance. I love the amazing things you come to realize when you allow yourself to be intimate and vulnerable with another human being. For me, I cannot see a truly fulfilling life without a partner to share it with.
As I was driving home this Garth Brooks song came on and per usual, got me thinking. There are few things that make me stand out in comparison to my sisters but I think one of my definitive qualities is my open heart and willingness to fall in love.
I believe, to my core, that I am capable of getting over or dealing with the loss of anyone. I truly believed with all my heart that I would marry my first love (sounds childish but everyone else thought so too so apparently adults are childish). When we broke up I felt like my entire world was caving in and feared the pain in my heart would never fade. It took nearly three years to fully move on from that relationship but I did. Everyday I deal with the loss of my father yet the grief has not smothered me or kept me from living a fulfilling life. If anything, both of these experiences (in their variant forms of loss) have made me appreciate the moments and exchanges I get to have.
Because I know that I am capable of moving on I am not afraid to fall in love and to love deeply. It's crazy to think that every single person (per your sexual persuasion) you meet could be one of your great loves. Granted they could also be an annoying cling on or someone who breaks your heart. But they could be a great love. I have learned something about myself or life from every relationship I have ever been in, even the ones that only lasted a month. I am continually surprised and amazed by my capacity to love and grow, and I find that it is almost limitless. Does my capacity to hurt equal my capacity to love? Without a doubt. The harder you love someone sometimes the harder the pain when the love is not enough. And maybe you could miss that pain by being guarded but then you would have to miss the dance.
I love the dance. I love the amazing things you come to realize when you allow yourself to be intimate and vulnerable with another human being. For me, I cannot see a truly fulfilling life without a partner to share it with.
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