If you dress like a slut, you'll be treated like one.... wait... WTF?
Not long ago, a coworker (uninhibited thanks to liquid courage) was discussing various issues of sexism with me. At one point in the conversation, he commented that women who dress like sluts they should expect to be treated like sluts.
This comment bothered me for a variety of reasons. 1) few women get dressed to go out thinking "wow, how can I look extra slutty", they are guided by what is considered beautiful and sexy in culture. If it is being made by Nordstrom, Forever 21, and other mass produced, mainstream stores, it's a cultural thing, not a personal thing. More often than not, it's not even about guys. 2) who gets to decide what is slutty and what is not?? 3) does this mean if a man wear his pants low enough that his underwear is showing, he is inviting sodomy? If his shirt is so tight that his muscles show, does he deserve to be treated a certain way? Does his clothing suddenly define him in a way that completely objectifies him and removes his humanity?
But what bothered me more than anything is this notion, which is propagated repeatedly throughout our entire society, that women somehow earn the way they are treated. They bring rape, unwelcome sexual advances, as well as verbal and physical abuse on themselves. They are responsible, not men. This is offensive and total bullshit.
Regardless of how someone dresses or acts, you are responsible for how you treat others. They are not responsible for how you treat them. You are defined by the things you say and do. So if you treat a female"like a slut" that isn't a reflection of them, that is a reflection of you and your lack of respect for women and for yourself, your lack of integrity, and your lack of a moral code.
Consider a different situation: If someone insults you, your response is your own choice. Whether you choose to ignore them, become violent with them, or address the comment in a productive manner, at the end of the day it is YOU choosing. You define yourself.
So regardless of if you think a girl looks slutty, or acts slutty (as bullshit of a concept that is to begin with, and a standard women are held to but not men), the way you treat that woman defines you as a human being. So demand better of yourself. Want better for yourself. And show that you are a respectful human being with integrity.
This comment bothered me for a variety of reasons. 1) few women get dressed to go out thinking "wow, how can I look extra slutty", they are guided by what is considered beautiful and sexy in culture. If it is being made by Nordstrom, Forever 21, and other mass produced, mainstream stores, it's a cultural thing, not a personal thing. More often than not, it's not even about guys. 2) who gets to decide what is slutty and what is not?? 3) does this mean if a man wear his pants low enough that his underwear is showing, he is inviting sodomy? If his shirt is so tight that his muscles show, does he deserve to be treated a certain way? Does his clothing suddenly define him in a way that completely objectifies him and removes his humanity?
But what bothered me more than anything is this notion, which is propagated repeatedly throughout our entire society, that women somehow earn the way they are treated. They bring rape, unwelcome sexual advances, as well as verbal and physical abuse on themselves. They are responsible, not men. This is offensive and total bullshit.
Regardless of how someone dresses or acts, you are responsible for how you treat others. They are not responsible for how you treat them. You are defined by the things you say and do. So if you treat a female"like a slut" that isn't a reflection of them, that is a reflection of you and your lack of respect for women and for yourself, your lack of integrity, and your lack of a moral code.
Consider a different situation: If someone insults you, your response is your own choice. Whether you choose to ignore them, become violent with them, or address the comment in a productive manner, at the end of the day it is YOU choosing. You define yourself.
So regardless of if you think a girl looks slutty, or acts slutty (as bullshit of a concept that is to begin with, and a standard women are held to but not men), the way you treat that woman defines you as a human being. So demand better of yourself. Want better for yourself. And show that you are a respectful human being with integrity.
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