We really truly are self-centered. I don't mean that with the negative implication that is normally attributed to self-centeredness. What I mean is that, we only have one way of experiencing the world; through our own eyes. Every experience we have is personal. Even when someone is sharing their thoughts or emotions, we interpret what they say through our own mental lens. It's just the nature of the beast.
What amazes me is how two people who share an experience together, interpret the exact same moment so differently. I believe that you can learn a lot about a person just by how they describe a memory. The other night I was talking to someone close to me and we were trying to establish what we wanted our relationship to look like in the future (relationship is often synonymous with friendship in my blog). To establish where we wanted to go we had to discuss where we had been. And as I talked to this person I realized how differently we viewed our previous relationship and how that very much reflected our attitudes towards people and life in general. I believe that people are inherently good, therefore with time and experience they can grow and mature. It is because of this that I generally try to keep an open heart towards and prefer to get to know who someone is now rather than hold on to who they used to be, as well as whatever pain they may have caused me. I want to explore their life. Talking to this person that made me realize this truth about myself.
It also made me realize that our relationship would most likely not continue in any kind of context. Not that I wouldn't want to, just that I didn't see how we could. Some people live their life focusing on the past, unable to bring themselves to the present and to envision a future. It requires work to change. It requires depth to grow emotionally and mentally. And for both of those things, courage is required. Courage is hard. And growing makes life very uncertain. I embrace that uncertainty but I can't expect others to do the same.
I am thankful for the way I view the world; for the way my view has enriched my life through amazing relationships that have survived the tests of time; and for the ability it has given for me to see people for who they are now as well as for them to truly see me.
What amazes me is how two people who share an experience together, interpret the exact same moment so differently. I believe that you can learn a lot about a person just by how they describe a memory. The other night I was talking to someone close to me and we were trying to establish what we wanted our relationship to look like in the future (relationship is often synonymous with friendship in my blog). To establish where we wanted to go we had to discuss where we had been. And as I talked to this person I realized how differently we viewed our previous relationship and how that very much reflected our attitudes towards people and life in general. I believe that people are inherently good, therefore with time and experience they can grow and mature. It is because of this that I generally try to keep an open heart towards and prefer to get to know who someone is now rather than hold on to who they used to be, as well as whatever pain they may have caused me. I want to explore their life. Talking to this person that made me realize this truth about myself.
It also made me realize that our relationship would most likely not continue in any kind of context. Not that I wouldn't want to, just that I didn't see how we could. Some people live their life focusing on the past, unable to bring themselves to the present and to envision a future. It requires work to change. It requires depth to grow emotionally and mentally. And for both of those things, courage is required. Courage is hard. And growing makes life very uncertain. I embrace that uncertainty but I can't expect others to do the same.
I am thankful for the way I view the world; for the way my view has enriched my life through amazing relationships that have survived the tests of time; and for the ability it has given for me to see people for who they are now as well as for them to truly see me.
Comments
Post a Comment