People always talk about how there are three sides to every story: yours, theirs, and the truth. Undeniably this is true. Perception is reality, yet everyone perceives things differently. We see things in a unique way.
The difference between perception and reality is often greatest for what someone says, what they meant, and how it was interpreted by someone else. What is even more amazing is how quickly and drastically the interpretation can alter that person's feelings; how quickly it can stir up insecurities or access past memories unintentionally... unconsciously. Just as much as tone effects the meaning of something, so does context. Yet we constantly create our own context.
Tonight I found it difficult to overcome my own interpretation. Even that sentence implies I overcame it, but I haven't. Was their comment phrased poorly? Most likely. Do they bring their own context to what they are saying, which I may not be aware of? Of course. But I find myself unable to ignore the context to which I understood their comment. The context of having previously trusted someone and given them the benefit of the doubt only to have it tossed back in my face. The context of having allowed myself to care for them, and in return been hurt when I least expected it.
Sometimes the more you allow yourself to care for someone the less you are able to give them the benefit of the doubt. To take the chance, to risk it with trust and then to fail would be to fall harder and farther than anticipated. Having fallen due to misguided trust before, you develop a conditioned fear. Suddenly, protection becomes key. Defense mechanisms instantly start without your control until you feel a sense of equilibrium. But that balance comes at a cost; the cost being the romanticism you once had toward that person, the unwavering optimism.
And maybe that optimism will return, but there will always be that little reminder lurking in the corners of the back of your mind eagerly waiting for the opportunity to spread doubt.
The difference between perception and reality is often greatest for what someone says, what they meant, and how it was interpreted by someone else. What is even more amazing is how quickly and drastically the interpretation can alter that person's feelings; how quickly it can stir up insecurities or access past memories unintentionally... unconsciously. Just as much as tone effects the meaning of something, so does context. Yet we constantly create our own context.
Tonight I found it difficult to overcome my own interpretation. Even that sentence implies I overcame it, but I haven't. Was their comment phrased poorly? Most likely. Do they bring their own context to what they are saying, which I may not be aware of? Of course. But I find myself unable to ignore the context to which I understood their comment. The context of having previously trusted someone and given them the benefit of the doubt only to have it tossed back in my face. The context of having allowed myself to care for them, and in return been hurt when I least expected it.
Sometimes the more you allow yourself to care for someone the less you are able to give them the benefit of the doubt. To take the chance, to risk it with trust and then to fail would be to fall harder and farther than anticipated. Having fallen due to misguided trust before, you develop a conditioned fear. Suddenly, protection becomes key. Defense mechanisms instantly start without your control until you feel a sense of equilibrium. But that balance comes at a cost; the cost being the romanticism you once had toward that person, the unwavering optimism.
And maybe that optimism will return, but there will always be that little reminder lurking in the corners of the back of your mind eagerly waiting for the opportunity to spread doubt.
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