NYE as a grown-up
Tonight is NYE. Normally I'd be wanting to get all done up, get schwastey, and make out with some wildly attractive man (or in reality, have drama with my ex and end up making out with one of my friends). I will admit that I had some entertaining NYE in college and a lot of good memories from them.
But last NYE was horrible. My ex and I were still in our perpetual state of in-between. We got in a fight. I was with one of my closest friends but couldn't care less about every other person in our group. I just felt horribly unhappy the entire night and even worse the next day (thank you alcohol for inducing/encouraging depression... I thought you were supposed to make people happy?! rude)
Now I am having my first post-college NYE. I thought I was going to be upset that I wasn't going to be in WA and couldn't party like I normally would. But then I realized how content I would be bringing in the New Year with a glass of wine and Catching Fire (Damn 'The Hunger Games' has me hooked). I am choosing to rally somewhat and am going for sushi and a movie with my sister and our friend (I am 23, and my preference would be to act like an 85 y/o hermit).
NYE is just reminding me of how much I have changed. I would have felt lost or unloved or lonely if I didn't have crazy plans in the past. Now I am content... no, I am happy to spend my NYE with my sister. I am excited to have a mellow night. I am thrilled to be living the change I have been working on creating in my life. I am so thankful for how far I have come. And to know that for the first NYE in more than 5 years, I will have a good night. Drama free. Surrounded by people I love and appreciate.
But last NYE was horrible. My ex and I were still in our perpetual state of in-between. We got in a fight. I was with one of my closest friends but couldn't care less about every other person in our group. I just felt horribly unhappy the entire night and even worse the next day (thank you alcohol for inducing/encouraging depression... I thought you were supposed to make people happy?! rude)
Now I am having my first post-college NYE. I thought I was going to be upset that I wasn't going to be in WA and couldn't party like I normally would. But then I realized how content I would be bringing in the New Year with a glass of wine and Catching Fire (Damn 'The Hunger Games' has me hooked). I am choosing to rally somewhat and am going for sushi and a movie with my sister and our friend (I am 23, and my preference would be to act like an 85 y/o hermit).
NYE is just reminding me of how much I have changed. I would have felt lost or unloved or lonely if I didn't have crazy plans in the past. Now I am content... no, I am happy to spend my NYE with my sister. I am excited to have a mellow night. I am thrilled to be living the change I have been working on creating in my life. I am so thankful for how far I have come. And to know that for the first NYE in more than 5 years, I will have a good night. Drama free. Surrounded by people I love and appreciate.
Comments
Post a Comment