In regards to relationships, far too often I think people are afraid that if they don't compromise they will miss out on something great. I have fallen victim to this belief on many occasions.
We think that if we establish boundaries, we will scare someone away. We live in fear of asking for commitment or monogamy because it may drive someone away. We try to cater what parts we show to someone so that we will be our most desirable versions, so that the person will stay interested.
But all of that is so tiring. It is so overwhelming. It's so time consuming.
What is so wrong with saying "this is who I am. Take it or leave it." Compromise is necessary in any relationship, but should you have to compromise yourself?
I want to be my unabridged self with someone. I want to show them my silly and my crazy and my wild but also my weak and my compassion and my passion. There are so many facets to me, I want to show the person I am with all of them. And I want to do it without guilt or fear of repercussion.
So if you want to be with someone, tell them. If you want to be monogamous with someone, tell them. Best case scenario, they feel the exact same way. Worst case, they don't and you find someone else.
Even the worst case scenario isn't that bad (although it may feel bone crushing in the moment). Maybe they just aren't that into you. And yea, that may bruise the ego for a while. That may suck to acknowledge. But get over it. Why waste your time on someone who doesn't think you are absolutely amazing just the way you are? Don't we realize there is someone else right around the corner who will?
I am tired of trying to play games or maintain the upper hand or pretend to be something that I am not. IT'S EXHAUSTING. And it's not worth it because you are never settled. I want to settle in with someone. I want it to be fun and easy because we just want to keep getting to know each other. That interest, that passion for each other keeps burning. I want to know that they want me. And I want to not have to doubt this.
The only way that is possible is to obtain the genuine. And the only way to do that is to weed out the fake. And honesty, with myself and with my partner, is the only way to get what I want.
We think that if we establish boundaries, we will scare someone away. We live in fear of asking for commitment or monogamy because it may drive someone away. We try to cater what parts we show to someone so that we will be our most desirable versions, so that the person will stay interested.
But all of that is so tiring. It is so overwhelming. It's so time consuming.
What is so wrong with saying "this is who I am. Take it or leave it." Compromise is necessary in any relationship, but should you have to compromise yourself?
I want to be my unabridged self with someone. I want to show them my silly and my crazy and my wild but also my weak and my compassion and my passion. There are so many facets to me, I want to show the person I am with all of them. And I want to do it without guilt or fear of repercussion.
So if you want to be with someone, tell them. If you want to be monogamous with someone, tell them. Best case scenario, they feel the exact same way. Worst case, they don't and you find someone else.
Even the worst case scenario isn't that bad (although it may feel bone crushing in the moment). Maybe they just aren't that into you. And yea, that may bruise the ego for a while. That may suck to acknowledge. But get over it. Why waste your time on someone who doesn't think you are absolutely amazing just the way you are? Don't we realize there is someone else right around the corner who will?
I am tired of trying to play games or maintain the upper hand or pretend to be something that I am not. IT'S EXHAUSTING. And it's not worth it because you are never settled. I want to settle in with someone. I want it to be fun and easy because we just want to keep getting to know each other. That interest, that passion for each other keeps burning. I want to know that they want me. And I want to not have to doubt this.
The only way that is possible is to obtain the genuine. And the only way to do that is to weed out the fake. And honesty, with myself and with my partner, is the only way to get what I want.
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