I was reading a book to my darling 3 month old niece, Lillian, today and one of the short stories talked about a 5 year old girl who had just lost her mother and how the loss of a mother is the greatest loss because it is the greatest love. This of course struck a chord with me because I lost my father at a very young age, and to me, that was just as substantial of a loss. Since his death I have been filled with a sense of longing for something, or rather someone, that I can never get back.
And what I thought to myself, was how could Lillian's father (genetically anyway) CHOOSE to not be in her life, to leave her with that missing piece? I don't think a family has to be composed of a mom and a dad, and I guess if you can't love someone the way they deserve it's best to not be present. Maybe absence could be better than a harmful presence. But I just don't get how you can have something so beautiful and precious in the world, that is a part of you, and to not want to be apart of their life. Lillian is amazing! And he is seriously missing out. I just don't want her to feel like she is missing out too. I don't want her to feel a hole and I don't want her to feel a longing for love. I want her to realize how much love my sister and my entire family feels for her; I want her to know the joy she has brought to our lives; I want her to know how much she has changed my sister Liz, for the better; I want her to see herself as a blessing. I want her to know our love.
My mission in life will be to fill Lillian's life with so much love, that she will not need to feel that sense of longing. My only hope, is that it is enough.
And what I thought to myself, was how could Lillian's father (genetically anyway) CHOOSE to not be in her life, to leave her with that missing piece? I don't think a family has to be composed of a mom and a dad, and I guess if you can't love someone the way they deserve it's best to not be present. Maybe absence could be better than a harmful presence. But I just don't get how you can have something so beautiful and precious in the world, that is a part of you, and to not want to be apart of their life. Lillian is amazing! And he is seriously missing out. I just don't want her to feel like she is missing out too. I don't want her to feel a hole and I don't want her to feel a longing for love. I want her to realize how much love my sister and my entire family feels for her; I want her to know the joy she has brought to our lives; I want her to know how much she has changed my sister Liz, for the better; I want her to see herself as a blessing. I want her to know our love.
My mission in life will be to fill Lillian's life with so much love, that she will not need to feel that sense of longing. My only hope, is that it is enough.
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